Just Waking

I'm just waking up to the world around me. Has it really been this long? Where am I going and what am I doing? Just walking along I guess. Help me. This is a collaborative blog. Contributors' main blogs are linked below.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Aftermath

"You sure this the right address?" the driver asked in broken English, seeing the building roped off in cheery, yellow police tape. The tape was the only fresh, colorful object on the grey street.

"Yeah, but it looks like I was late for the party."

Gregor was a bit surprised by his own response. Wit was not a word most used to describe him; invisible was a more suitable word – and it kept him out of trouble. Perhaps Peter was right: Gregor was slipping.

As Gregor was handing the taxi driver his MasterCard, he asked for the time, wanting to confirm yet again what time zone he was in.

"15.75", was the reply.

"Put 20 on the card," Gregor responded.

The driver may not have mastered the English language, Gregor thought to himself. He was glad that he did not live in this city. As an afterthought, Gregor almost scoffed to himself, "but he understood what a tip was."

Gregor hears the wheels of the Lincoln Continental throw loose gravel into the street as the cabbie returns to find his next fare.

Gregor initially was going to enter the building – he knew he missed something the other night – but two police officers stepped out from the shadow if the entrance. Gregor immediately sized them up, his eye catching an ear-bud in each officer's right ear. That, combined with shoes too pricey for uniformed officers, signaled that these cops were more than they seemed. CIA, perhaps? Gregor did not want to find out.

So instead of entering through the main entrance, Gregor walks to the end of the apartment building, and nonchalantly ducks into the alley between two 1960's looking flats.

"Great place to get mugged," Gregor says to his most loyal companion, himself.

He knew there would be another way to get into the building, but he also wanted to enter undetected, a more difficult feat. As he scanned for an alternative place of entry, the girl's pleading continued to haunt him, "Help me!"

She had died in this apartment building the other night, and yet her voice was on his phone the following day. It was her voice, he was sure it was.

Moving a crate under the second floor balcony, Gregor balanced himself and gingerly reached for the railing. He judged that the iron railing, forged nearly forty years ago, should hold his weight, and in what his mind would suggest was a leap of faith, he swung and pulled himself up to the outside edge of the balcony. One quick maneuver, and he was over the railing, standing nonchalantly on the neglected balcony.

Gregor took a deep breath, and walked through the windowless sliding glass door. Observing the blown-out window, Gregor began wondering what was awaiting him inside. He needed answers; being in the dark was uncomfortable, and he disliked being uncomfortable.

17 Comments:

Blogger KyuBall said...

Ok...I'm not going to kiss anymore ass.

Instead, I'm going to point out a flaw in this story.

You mispelled "crate".

Ok...guess I'm up next. I'll get something together in the next couple of days.

(Good story, by the way. Damn, I did it again.)

8:00 PM, January 30, 2006  
Blogger TYSEN said...

So how would one "catch-up" with the story? Is there ground work laid out as to characters or locations or event? Do you authors have meetings to discuss where things are going? What if the next post killed off the main character? I am curious about these group story blogs.

11:28 AM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Gina said...

We have no rules as far as I know. We're basically doing an exercise, or experiment. Each person has to build on what came before. We don't discuss before hand, but I think if someone was stuck we'd help each other.

Leesa, this isn't crap. You have some nice sensory detail and you have advanced to story to a new point. He went back to the scene of the crime. :)

12:41 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Leesa said...

g: thanks, but at the time I wrote it, I thought it was horrible. Re-reading it, it is not bad. Not great, but not bad. I wanted to slow it down a bit, just because prata did write a lot for us to digest. I figured he could return to the scene to find some evidence (and perhaps another flashback or two). Seems like Gregor internalizes a lot. Given his line of work, one may expect that.

tysen: the entire story is on the blog. I have made a "draft" that has the whole story in chronological order. Not sure if others can see the story.

4:58 AM, February 01, 2006  
Blogger Prata said...

Tysen..you wouldn't want to be you know...involved would you? ^_^

12:17 PM, February 01, 2006  
Blogger KyuBall said...

Hmmm. I got a pickle-ment here.

I assume that Gregor has gone back to the building that all the action happened in.

Here's my continuity problem: Prata's action-fest happened in a two story family flat. Unless I'm mistaken, a two story can't have a third floor in which to sneak in.

Suggestions?

6:34 PM, February 01, 2006  
Blogger Leesa said...

KyuBall: my screw up. I missed that. I will try and fix this. Crap.

7:22 AM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Prata said...

If you wish (I'm not opposed to this at all) we can move the building up a story. This really isn't a problem.

Leesa if you want to edit yours you can but we can simply leave your post as is and change my building to a three story and all of the action can still take place on the second floor. No biggie.

7:41 AM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Gina said...

Hee! Such are the hazards of this kind of exercise. I actually made a map of all the facts before I got started. Now there's even more to keep track of.

7:42 AM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Leesa said...

Oh, crap, Prata, your suggestion would have been easier. Feeling like an idiot, I made some changes. Actually more than a one-word change.

12:34 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Min Min said...

Hey, this sounds interesting...is the "Starting Anew" Post the first chapter of your story?
I would really like to participate if you don't mind me being german and sometimes making mistakes...
But I really love writing stories and also do so in my free time.

Good idea, by the way!!

1:34 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Leesa said...

jazz: sure, you can join the group. Yes, the story starts in reverse order.

Ich koennen ein biescion Deautch sprecken. But I can't spell German worth a darned.

1:45 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Min Min said...

Hey, thank you! I'm kinda busy with exams this week (and the next, too) but afterwards, I will be happy to join your group.

Your german sounds so typically american ^_______________^
Thank you for trying ~

9:39 AM, February 03, 2006  
Blogger Leesa said...

jazz: Es tut mir leid! Ich kenne Deautch in der Uni.

5:15 AM, February 06, 2006  
Blogger KyuBall said...

Sorry kids...I'm a bit late with my addition. It will be up shortly.

Also...welcome to the party Jazz.

Unfortunately, I speak German-Shepard better than I speak German.

7:00 PM, February 06, 2006  
Blogger Gina said...

Woof! :p

4:23 AM, February 07, 2006  
Blogger Deb said...

You amaze me with your writing sweetie!

8:34 AM, February 07, 2006  

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